In an episode of Home Movies where Brendon gets writer's block, Paula attempts to help him get through a most delicate situation with some motherly advice:
Paula: "as someone who has worn the hat of a writer AND the hat of a teacher, I think I can be of assistance"
Brendon: "Mom, you have way too many hats"
When he brings up the issue of writer's block, she tells him "don't get it"
(HEY!! I found a picture of this EXACT moment!!)
At any rate, I am finding that I may, in fact, have WAY too many hats. Last night I had a dream that one of my college professors sat me down and lectured me about committing to achieving my goals and remembering my dreams. Now, anyone who knows me well and who has read my dream journal or my short stories can tell you that my dreams are never so cut and dry, and NEVER so realistic and logical. The only explanation I can come up with is that my sub-conscious is trying to tell me something, and that something is that I am in danger of spreading myself thin creatively. My jewelry business is taking off and becoming a healthy source of extra income, I have been in more gallery exhibitions this year than I was in throughout all of graduate school, I am teaching full-time and using my own personal experience as a retail manager and store buyer as fodder for my ever-adapting fashion marketing classes at AI, I'm working steadily on my book of short stories and I have been making drawings for the 32 page graphic short story I intend to plop in the middle of my first collection. But where is my identity in all of this? I have never wanted to be the type of person who ignores one kind of opportunity because it isn't close enough to exactly-what-I-have-my-master's-degree-in, or the type of person who settles for mediocrity when something outstanding is waiting right around the corner. I love that dissatisfaction is a driving force and that being open to new experiences has gained me some degree of local notoriety. I love the ride. I love not knowing. I love 9. But something here is WRONG.
So, what to do? I can continue on this path of living 4 or 5 separate lives at the same time or I can decide what needs to be focused on. Is this the moment in which I realize that it can't all be done, or do I just need to commit to not sleeping or having a social life? Should I be meditating instead of blogging? UGH.
but enough about me, how are you all doing?
You don't have to be perfect in all your pursuits. You can write short stories and even publish them and not try to be a "writer."
ReplyDeleteYou can be an artist in the broadest sense. In fact, you already are.